Today is our longest day for a while (Strava’s best initial guess is 36.98km), but also the one with the highest overall  elevation (Strava’s best guesstimate is 1,189m), all contained in one huge uphill feat. In summary, I’ve seen the FTSE 100 look calmer than this during a financial crisis.

So we really wanted to start the day with a good breakfast. Unfortunately, we booked St Andrew’s hotel in Exeter. I’m providing a photo here and the name so that no one else makes the same mistake as us.

As you can see, at least half of it looks like a building site, so half the facilities are lacking too. Additionally, the manager on duty does not have the key to the kitchen, so there is nothing he can box up for us to take away as breakfast for an early start. The temperature of our room is approximately that of hell in a heatwave; the pillows are stuffed with gossamer and are as supportive as you can imagine as a result. Coupled with a single glazed window looking out over the main road out of Exeter and noisy guests arriving back to their room in the middle of the night, we had approximately zero minutes sleep between the pair of us, for £177. As it is also the weekend that every student has arrived back for the start of term, we had no choice as our first BnB cancelled on us. 

So part 1 of the strategy: to start with a good breakfast relied more heavily on the nearby M&S food hall shopping the night before. Porridge pots consumed, we set off at 7am, very bleary eyed and frankly exhausted.

The plan was to break the day up and refresh ourselves with a proper lunch at Moretonhampstead and an early supper at the Warren House Inn near Postbridge before getting to our minimal BnB in Postbridge itself. This is because our BnB had warned us that the pub next door to them is very flaky and unlikely to be open.

We were also expecting rain on top of the 37km and the most elevation we’ve ever done, but the dark clouds stayed in the distance and the weather was glorious. Almost too hot for some brutal uphill climbs.

We were also expecting remote, wild moors similar to Scotland, not rolling green fields and woods.

All this gorgeousness did come at a price though, as the route took us along single track roads where car dodging was an obligatory part of the day as well. Part 2 strategy for this was a proper avian “canary in the mine”. We figured the family of pheasants would scarper as soon as a car was within shouting distance so it was great to see them.

Turns out this was useless as a few birds did indeed fly off when a car came round the bend two minutes later, but at least one of them just ran frantically six inches in front of the car tyre while it drove past us slowly.

Note to self: pheasants make better main courses than early warning devices.

My other strategy is tying the poncho bag to a stick as a high-vis early warning device.

Duly armed, we enjoyed the windy country lanes and the proper long vet gloves in the hedge….

all the way to the Union Inn in Moretonhampstead. There we found locally made cider and a cook who was prepared to put gammon from the carvery into a baguette rather than on a plate with vegetables, despite the look of horror from the bar woman.

Perfect lunch: part 3 of our strategy implemented.

Villages round here have no barbers, nail bars or take aways, but they do have bunting and thatched cottages nearly 300 years old and nearby castles. It’s all gorgeous.

We’ve even seen a return of the beardy lichen last seen in the Highlands of Scotland. It’s not here in quite such quantities as the trees which were covered in Scotland, but good to see, nonetheless.

The moors and the weather then shifted to what we had expected of them. More remote, with the sun trying to break through as the clouds surrounded us with mist.

A little chillier than we anticipated, we turned up at the most glorious pub and devoured some fabulous home made food washed down with local drinks. At last, regional specialties and a menu derived from them, not a corporate memo. We also chatted to a couple travelling round Dartmoor before going round part of Europe and then on to South America. Part 4 of the strategy knocked out of the park.

Our excuse is that for every metre of elevation, you need an additional kcalorie (trust me, the physicist did maths, the biochemist acknowledged muscle efficiency adjustments to the maths), so this is likely where our extra 1,212kCal came from.

Finally we reached our mediocre BnB, dropped our bags and discovered the utterly charming Lydgate guesthouse down the road where Mark thrashed me at drafts and we had a delightful, and also locally distilled, nightcap.

Distance – 37.87km a full km of Strava tax longer than original estimates with an extra 23m of elevation, but Mark has also claimed a full marathon by including the walk to Lydgate guesthouse. Garmin lies, don’t believe him……