Ritual humiliation week at the job centre (March 16th 2015)

Today combined both the usual signing on and the special naughty step meeting for failing to do anything constructive towards getting a job in 13 weeks. I wasn’t told I had this extra delight at an appointment on Wednesday this week so thankfully Sheenagh renewed my claimant commitment with me today as I have no doubt there would have been retribution for failing to turn up to appointments they don’t tell you about. So, “What does a renewal of a claimant commitment involve?” I hear you clammer. Well, to increase the bond I feel for my torturers, sheenagh went through the whole online form I filled out last November that includes my hopes, dreams, skill set, expectations and tasks around getting a new job. My 20+ year career experience to date is summed up as “project management, research”, for example, which felt perfectly adequate and was left untouched. However, it was clear that educational qualifications “phd and mba” was getting me nowhere. Sheenagh edited these horrors to PHD and MBA which I feel has expanded my horizons considerably already. I did point out that if she was that worried about the correct spelling perhaps she should put PhD, which bless her, she did. Form duly capitalised, she printed it out on the paper that rates just above “toilet” in the stationery catalogue and I re-signed it. Everything I actually DO to find a job over the last two weeks entered online as requested by the claimant nazis is dutifully ignored. £144 in the bank.

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