Ritual humiliation at the job centre yesterday involved being told off for not having my paper booklet to write the next appointment in. I provided the response that I was perfectly capable of remembering a date two weeks in advance if by some miracle my smartphone forgot. In fact I have been turning up fortnightly for two months despite not actually receiving any money yet. Turns out I didn’t make sufficient national insurance contributions in 2013 to be eligible for job seekers allowance. This is incorrect to the sum of £4,904.69. One slow computer system and a failed call back yesterday and hanging up on me instead of being put on hold today – I now have £299.95. Do these people seriously run our country? They couldn’t run an egg and spoon race.